I remember the scene vividly. I was sitting on a light blue plastic chair in the middle of the field right outside the orphanage we were helping to build in Nepal (pictured above). The landscape was beautiful and peaceful, with only the sound of rustling trees and cows moo-ing in the distance. I had my journal and blue pen out (the one I use to write the Lord’s voice), talking to the Lord about what might come after the Race.
He said to me:
“Rae, you have so much more freedom than you know to choose what comes next. I trust you. I know your heart, and your heart’s desire is to glorify me in whatever you do. Trust that I will correct you if you start to head down a path that would not glorify me or not be good for you.
Think of a child under the authority of their parents. When the child is young, they have lots of boundaries and restrictions, and their parents have to tell them what to do and what not to do. But as they grow older, more mature, and wiser, the parents can trust them to make more decisions. It’s not that the parents are stepping out of the picture altogether, but the child has demonstrated their ability to make wise choices. This is what I am extending to you now.”
Exhale. Relief. Freedom.
It’s no secret that I crave predictability and stability. So when my future is up in the air, I’m not gonna lie, I tend to freak out and overanalyze.
I was recently trying to make a decision about something I thought the Lord was asking me to do. I absolutely did not want to do this thing, so I figured it must be what the Lord had for me. Then another opportunity came along that I did want to do, so I just assumed the Lord would close the door.
Pardon the vague nature of that paragraph, but do you see what’s wrong in those words?
Somewhere along the way I started believing that God ONLY wants to make me do things I don’t want to do, and if there’s anything I WANT to do, He’s going to shut the door.
Ouch. That sounds like a pretty unloving and dictator-like God, which is completely opposite from the gentle, loving, yet firm Father I have come to know through an intimate relationship with my Creator.
Through the revelation of the lies I was believing, and being reminded of God’s sweet words to me in Nepal, I could breathe again.
Exhale. Relief. Freedom.
What I experienced in that Nepalese field is the same freedom I experienced as I was making decisions about my future. By shedding the lies I was believing about God, I could step into the freedom that He has given me as His daughter.
The offer is not extended only to me, but I believe the Lord is calling you into freedom as well. He will always be the one to guide your steps, but He delights in allowing you to be part of the process.
I pray this lesson resonates with you and puts your restless soul at ease.
